


One Piece: Baseball Monkey

by moonlitinuyasha1985, XFangHeartX



Category: One Piece
Genre: Baseball, Gen, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-25
Updated: 2016-11-25
Packaged: 2018-09-02 01:02:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8645131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonlitinuyasha1985/pseuds/moonlitinuyasha1985, https://archiveofourown.org/users/XFangHeartX/pseuds/XFangHeartX
Summary: Monkey D. Luffy vs. the Blackbeard Pirates in a game of baseball...ALL BY HIMSELF!!! Takes place post-timeskip.





	

**One Piece: Baseball Monkey**

 

(I do not, nor will I EVER, own One Piece. This beyond amazing series belongs to Ze Great Eiichiro Oda.)

 

 

Bright and Sunny.

 

The perfect conditions for baseball.

 

Speaking of baseball, there happened to be a game going on today, for the stadium was packed.

 

"And here we are, folks! Another glorious day for baseball! It's been a one-sided knock-down dragged out baseball game at the first inning with the visiting team, the Blackbeard Pirates, and the home team, the Wapol Pirates. Baseball fans are going wild! Ooh, and there goes a screaming liner in the field!"

 

A baseball was sent flying, literally screaming through the air.

 

"Home team hasn't a chance, but they're in there punching, nevertheless!"

 

Wapol was the one up to bat. Facing the audience, Wapol spoke, "I'm only 33 1/2 years old."

 

The pitcher? Marshall D. Teach AKA Blackbeard.

 

"Zehahahahaha...!" he laughed. "This'll be a breeze."

 

   First, Blackbeard wound up for the pitch, then he threw the ball, which Wapol missed, and Burgess caught. Next, he threw it back to Blackbeard, who wound up and pitched the ball again. Wapol missed, and Burgess caught the ball again.

 

"Ball!" Chess exclaimed, dressed in an umpire's outfit.

 

"WHAT?!" Burgess questioned prior to conking him on the head so hard that it drove him into the ground.

 

"I-I'm sorry, sir," Chess stammered, "I don't know what came over me. I meant to say...strike."

 

He soon fainted.

 

*****Short timeskip brought to you by the Spirit Bomb*****

 

"Listen to that crowd roar as the Blackbeard pirates go up to bat again! Boy, what a game!"

 

As the announcer uttered this, the crowd was going wild.

 

   Wapol was pitching, only to duck after every ball was hit. The Blackbeard Pirates were batting in a conga line style, and the crowd was eating it up...except for one.

 

"Boo~! Boo~!" shouted a voice. "The Blackbeard Pirates are a bunch of dirty cheaters!"

 

Who else would it be but Monkey D. Luffy?

 

"Hell, I bet that I could beat all of those clowns with one hand tied behind my back!" he added. "ALL BY MYSELF!!!"

 

However, Blackbeard and his crew happened to hear him, and needless to say, they weren't pleased.

 

"I'd be all WHAM! A homer! WHAM! Another homer!" Luffy shouted. "WHAM! WHAM!! WHAM!! WHA--"

 

   Luffy soon stopped his ranting when he saw that he was surrounded by the Blackbeard Pirates. He gulped before he nervously munched on his hot dog.

 

"Umm...hey, guys," he greeted, tentatively.

 

At that moment, Blackbeard grabbed Luffy by the collar of his cardigan.

 

"All right, Mr. Big Shot!" he started, blowing his cigar smoke at Luffy's face. "So, you think that you can beat us all by yourself!?"

 

He set Luffy down, gave him a baseball uniform, equipment, and a ball cap.

 

"Well, you've got yourself a game!" Blackbeard finished.

 

"...Uh...okay," Luffy muttered, confused.

 

*****Short timeskip brought to you by Roar! Zabimaru!*****

 

"Attention! Attention!" the announcer called. "There's been a slight change in the Wapol Pirates line-up. Catching: Monkey D. Luffy. Left field: Monkey D. Luffy. Right field: Monkey D. Luffy. Pitching: Monkey D. Luffy. Third Base: Monkey D. Luffy. Center field: Monkey D. Luffy. First Base: Monkey D. Luffy. Shortstop: Monkey D. Luffy. Second base: Monkey D. Luffy."

 

   Luffy stood at center field, dressed in a baseball uniform and chewing on some bubble gum while tossing the ball up and down behind his back. Blackbeard was up to bat, and was getting ready to swing.

 

With Luffy, he wound up for the pitch and threw the ball. Next, he ran over to the Catcher's position, wearing a catcher's mitt.

 

"C'mon, buddy!" he shouted. "Right here!"

 

 ***WHAM!!*** He caught the ball, but he went crashing into the wall behind him. Luffy picked up the ball, and stood on his feet.

 

"That's the ol' pepper, boy!" he praised. "That's real pitchin'!"

 

   He threw it back to center field, and then caught it himself. Luffy wound up to pitch again, briefly tossed the ball behind his back so that he could roll up his sleeves, caught the ball, threw it, and ran back to the Catcher's position.

 

"Come on, put it over the ol' plate!" he shouted. "C'mon, old boy, old boy, old boy, old boy--OOF!!"

 

 ***WHAM!!*** He was sent crashing into the wall, yet again.

 

*****Short timeskip brought to you by Scatter! Zenbonzakura!*****

 

"I think I'll perplex him with my slow-ball." Luffy spoke to the audience.

 

He wound up, seeming to make a hard pitch, and he slowly threw the ball, which was literally very slow!

 

It came towards Shiryuu, who tried hitting it with his bat, yet could not.

 

"One, two, three strikes, you're out!" the Umpire called.

 

Next, Lafitte tried to hit it, but he couldn't either.

 

"One, two, three strikes, you're out!" the Umpire called again.

 

Finally, Pizarro tried tried to hit the ball, and like his teammates, he wasn't able to do so.

 

"One, two, three strikes, you're out!" the Umpire shouted.

 

"Dammit!!" cursed Pizarro as he threw his bat down.

 

Soon, Luffy's turn to bat came.

 

"Oh, Bat Boy!" Luffy called, and soon, a boy with literal bat wings while carrying baseball bats came. "Thanks." He took a bat from Bat Boy, who flew off.

 

Blackbeard pitched the ball, and Luffy was getting ready to swing.

 

"That's the kind of stuff we want!" Luffy shouted. "Right down the old plate!"

 

He hit the ball, ran to first base, then second base, followed by third, but as he was about to get to home, Burgess stood in his way.

 

"Yipe!" he yelped, braking to a halt. However, he had a way of getting to home base without getting struck out.

 

He soon pulled out a pin-up poster of Boa Hancock. Burgess, as expected, reacted like a lovesick mook.

 

"YAHOO!!" he hollered before he started hopping away. "ARF! ARF!! WHOO!! WHOO-HOO!! YIPPEE!!!"

 

"Too easy." Luffy smirked, walking to home base.

 

Soon, he went up to bat again.

 

"Right down the ol' alley, boy!" he shouted before he hit the ball and began to run again.

 

As he blitzed around the field, Blackbeard grabbed the Umpire's neck, pulled him away, beat him up, and reappeared in his outfit.

 

"Zehahaha..." he chuckled in a sinister manner.

 

Soon, Luffy slid on the home plate.

 

"You're out!" Blackbeard shouted.

 

"Where do you get that bull crap?!" Luffy questioned. "I'm safe!!"

 

"I said you're out!" Blackbeard answered.

 

"I'm safe!!!" Luffy spat.

 

"You're out!" Blackbeard yelled.

 

"Safe!" Luffy shouted.

 

"Out!" Blackbeard retorted.

 

"Safe!!"

 

"Out!!"

 

"Out!!"

 

"Safe!!"

 

"Out!!"

 

"Safe!!"

 

"Out!!"

 

"I say you're safe, dumb-ass!!" Blackbeard shouted. "If you don't like it, you can go to the showers!!!"

 

"Okay, you win," Luffy smiled, "I'm safe."

 

Blackbeard smirked, believing he had won the argument...but then he suddenly realized he had been duped.

 

"Sonuvabitch, he Bugs Bunny'd me!" he exclaimed.

 

Soon, Luffy went to bat, again.

 

"Come on, put it over the ol' plate!" he exclaimed. He hit the ball again and began to run.

 

"I GOT IT, I GOT IT, I GOT IT!!!" Vasco Shot hollered, running to catch the ball.

 

 ***WHAM!!*** He ended up getting hit in the face and slammed into the ground. His headstone read "He Got It".

 

At that instant, Luffy went to bat again.

 

"Come on, put it over the ol' plate!" he shouted.

 

   He hit it, and this time, Doc Q tried to catch it. The ball ended up hitting him in the face, and he slammed into the wall. On the aforementioned wall, it read, "Does your tobacco taste different, lately?"

 

"Shishishishi!" Luffy laughed.

 

Soon, it was his turn to bat again.

 

"Right down the ol' alley!" Luffy exclaimed.

 

   He hit the ball once more, and it hit many of the other Blackbeard Pirates in the field. It was almost like a game of pinball. Heck, even the scoreboard's numbers were appearing and disappearing as it read "TILTED".

 

   Now, it was Luffy's turn to pitch, again, and Blackbeard was at the plate. Luffy wound up for a pitch, threw the ball, and Blackbeard connected with it!

 

   Next, he ran to first, second, third, and just when it seemed as he was about to make it to home base, Luffy held out his hand, which was holding the ball. Blackbeard's gut ended up touching the ball, knocking him back.

 

"You're OUT!!!" yelled the Umpire.

 

   Blackbeard just sat there in a daze, seeing miniature versions of himself spinning around while tossing baseballs to each other. Luffy held up a card that read "Was this trip really necessary?".

 

Baseball Choir (singing): _"What's the score boys?_  
 _What did Straw Hat Luffy do?_  
 _What's with the Monkey League baseball, today?"_

 

"Monkey D. Luffy: 96, the Blackbeard Pirates: 95," the announcer stated, "it's the last half of the ninth with Monkey D. Luffy leading 96 to 95. The Blackbeard Pirates have one man on base and two out. A home run would win the game for the visiting team!"

 

Blackbeard was standing at home plate, preparing to land a hit...however, he smirked.

 

"Zehahaha...!" he laughed. "I've got a much better idea."

 

He ran over to a tree, chopped it down with an ax, and he held it like a giant bat!

 

Luffy, however, remained undeterred.

 

"Watch me paste this pathetic palooka with a powerful, paralyzing, perfect, pachydermous, percussion pitch!" he spoke to the audience.

 

(A/N: That's a lot of Ps!)

 

Soon, Luffy began to wind up for the pitch. He was coming in hot, literally! The ball started flaming!

 

After winding, he threw the heated ball at Blackbeard, who hit the ball with his tree bat! The ball was sent flying right out of the stadium!

 

"HOLY CRAP!!!" Luffy cried before he ran after it.

 

He ran out of the stadium and over to a taxi cab.

 

"Hey, taxi!" Luffy called. "Follow that ball!"

 

He got into the cab and it drove off. Although, the driver went in the opposite direction of where the ball was going.

 

"Hey, you big palooka!" Luffy shouted. "You're going the wrong way!!"

 

He gasped in shock when he saw the driver's picture. It was actually Blackbeard!

 

"Zehahahahaha~!" Blackbeard cackled.

 

Luffy jumped out of the cab and arrived at a bus stop, where a bus had appeared. He jumped on without hesitation, and it drove off after the ball.

 

Luffy, shocking as it may be, was reading a newspaper as the bus was moving. He looked out the window, and saw the ball fly over his head.

 

"Oh, there it is!!" he cried.

 

   The bus stopped at the Tokyo Tower, and Luffy got out and ran as fast as he could. He climbed all the way to the top, and just when it looked like he wouldn't make the catch, he tossed his glove up in the air, which ended up catching the ball before it landed back on Luffy's hand!

 

Blackbeard had just made it to the top of the tower in time for the Umpire to shout, "You're OUT!"

 

"I'm out?!" Blackbeard questioned, and at that point, out of nowhere, Nami appeared!

 

"That's what the man said, you heard what he said, he said that!" she replied, speaking rapidly. "You heard him, that's what he said!"

 

"That's what the man said, he said that, that's what he said, he really said that, that's what he said!" Luffy added, just as rapidly.

 

**THE END**

**Author's Note:**

> Yup. I did.


End file.
